eyebrow threading

Showing 2 posts tagged eyebrow threading

there has been a murder.

it is with great pain that i report the death of my eyebrows. they were savagely butchered yesterday when i carelessly trusted them to a threader other than my guru. it’s my fault. i wasn’t thinking, and now they’re dead because of it. uneven, improperly arched and shockingly thin. i could pretend that i was forced or drunk or even just feeling particularly vulnerable, but i won’t. i cheated on my guru and death ensued. let this be a lesson to us all.

(this is a dramatization and not my actual face.)

there will be a webinar style wake, invitation only, as i’m only accepting close friends and family during this trying time. everyone else, we ask that you keep my regrowth and the regrowth of that non-listening, murderous woman’s future victims in your thoughts and prayers.

(this is a dramatization and not my actual face.)

rest in peace, dear eyebrows. you were rocking the perfectly manicured thickness well before Lilly Collins made it cool. thank you for years of consistent compliments, saving all close-up photos, and keeping my face warm during those nyc winters. you are deeply missed.

when hairy met sally.

ok her name isn’t really sally, its nina. and she is my eyebrow sensei.  i get compliments on my eyebrows all the time.  some like how they’re shaped, others like their “thickness”. but, every time i’m met with one of these lovely comments i smile and laugh a little thinking to myself, “ooooh if they only knew the way nina and i know.”

last night i went into my usual threading spot and this happened:

nina: are you kristen?

me:  no, tiffany…why?

nina:  oh, a girl came in and said her sister with the really, really thick eyebrows and all the hair sent her.  i thought it was you.

hearing this, i completely get why she thought i’d changed my name.  totally sounds like me.  yes ya’ll, by the time poor nina finishes taming my over-grown man-hair at least 2 to 3 girls have been in and out of other chick’s chair.  the time it takes used to be embarrassing but i figure its more embarrassing to leave all that testosterone present on my face so, i’ve made peace.

all this to say: dear nina, you’re the best.  and, as long as you keep my eyebrows (and other unsightly facial hair) in tact,  you don’t have to remember my name.